Future Schmuely "Snot" Lonstein(Timeline 5)

This is hopeless! No matter what we do, future me is doomed. Wait a minute. We've been trying to make you look cool, when everybody here is a nerd. We need to play to our audience. Have you been practicing your magic? Magic doesn't exist. But illusions are real! If you'd given me a heads up, I'd be holding flowers right now. My card's not in the deck. Oh, man, are you sure? I know the card I picked. Would you mind cutting open that orange? [Cheering] That's an amazing trick. Let's go. Did that work? [Shrieking] [Both scream] [Continues shrieking]