Morwin Nerdbane

I am Morwen Nerdbane here to challenge Agathor to mortal combat. - Klaus, he's gonna kill me. - Say Agathor's name backwards. I shall strike you down with a single- Rohtaga. That felt good. And I've almost died from autoerotic asphyxiation. So I know from good. Domino, bitch. Hey, Suit, you're the bomb! All these other guys got nothin' on you. You are- The second fastest racer on the street. - Oooh! - Oh, it is on. Somebody hold my rings. You talk a big game, but what do you say we settle this like adolescents with very poor judgment. I'm gonna kick your ass. Nuh-uh. I'm gonna kick your ass. I kicked your ass. I know. I guess I was wrong about who was going to kick whose ass. You lost? You never lose! So I lost a little street cred. I'll get it back. It's all part of the dance. Stan, you don't understand. L- - Where's my money? - If you're smart, in U. S. Savings bonds. Your wife put down What? Francine, why would you bet 50 grand? I needed more excitement! I just wanted that extra rush- to feel that high. Good God, woman! Couldn't you have just had a Red Bull and a sugar cookie? We don't have $50,000. Well, you have three hours to get it. Until then, we keep your wife. Like hell you will! Stan! Sorry I missed the race. I was gettin' us victory Slushies. I can't believe they took Francine. How am I gonna get $50,000? We'll think of something. Wait! Pull over! - What? - I kind of want a coconut Popsicle. - Drive, drive, drive! - What? What's going on? - I robbed the place! - What? I was trying to settle on a pair of sunglasses when I realized how we could get the money. Yes to these? Stan? Yes to these? Floor it! I do love this night air! Jeff, you wanna get some pizza? You killed Agathor. How could you do that? Oh, come on. It was just a character in a game. Yeah, but to Steve, it was everything. You know, when you dumped me, I blamed myself. But after what you did to your brother, you're just heartless! You're bad candy, babe. And stop enjoying my mural. So, if my husband can't come up with the money, what are you gonna do to me? - We're gonna kill you. - Oh, my God. Shut up! Peasant! The mighty Kubalek desires that you carry all our backpacks to the arcade. Yes, mighty Kubalek. And you're not allowed to use the muscles in your legs. - Oh, my God. I destroyed him. - He's not destroyed. He's just very, very, very, very sad. Okay, I'm going in. You cover me. Wait. What am I doing? I'm a man of the law. I'm gonna handle this my way. Shoot him! Shoot him in the face! I can't believe this turns some people on. Jeff, there's a magical amulet! I can bring Agathor back to life. And why would you do that? I realized you were right. I should have known how important Agathor was to Steve. I wanna fix it, but it's a dangerous journey. I can't do it without you. Well, okay. But we're not getting back together. This isn't a make-up quest. Absolutely. All business. - No hugs. - It was a business hug, but okay. You're the goat- man- thingy. Huh? - This is it. The amulet of resurrection is in there. - We made it! The Castle Roodpart. Who comes up with these names? In this world, "Roodpart" is probably some ancient, mystic word- Oh, crap. It's "trapdoor" spelled backwards. Oh, there's my penis! All right, there they are. Oh, them you can see, but me getting my ass kicked, off the radar. Look, your plan was never gonna work. I'm gonna handle this my way. - You got the money? - You got the manners to say hello first? - Hello. - I got your money. Let's do this. Phone books? What the hell is this? Oooh, wow. See, uh-Ah! I opened it upside down. The money's supposed to be on top of the phone books. Run, Francine! Can't a brother get a "Run, Roger"? Damn. Gotta be all self-running and whatnot. - They're catching up! - Roger, we need more speed! I gotta lighten this sucker up. - Is there anything else we can lose? - No, nothing! - What are those? - My Rod Stewart albums! - Lose 'em! - Duck! I made it! Ah, the hell with it. Choke on my Rod! Look! There's the amulet! He's adorable. - We are so screwed. - No, wait. They always put in some way to win these games. Why is there a scuba tank on the wall? Of course! Grab your bow. Smile, you son of a- - Dude, that was awesome! - Thanks. The amulet! - What do we do with it? - It's a suppository. Not it! It's impossible. I'm alive! All hail the mighty Agathor. Thank you, young warrior. And now, with haste and grim dignity I go to remove the amulet from betwixt my cheeks. You know, we make a great team. I guess I could give us another chance after all. Actually, I kind of met someone. - How's it going? - What? When did you meet him? Remember that tavern, and you went to the bathroom? It just kind of happened. Boy, that- that was exciting, huh? Now listen, if you wanna keep racing, we'll-we'll build a new car. - A better, faster car. - No, Stan. I don't think I needed all this. - You-You didn't? - No. I wanted to mix up our routine, but this was too much. I'd love to find something in between going to the same restaurant every Friday and being kidnapped by heavily armed skinheads. Something like- I don't know- going dancing or sailing or, uh- - Having sex in the road? - Or having sex in the road. See, that's perfect. Why couldn't we do that? We can. We can totally do that! Let's do it right now. I don't even think I have to take these shorts off. Well, let's find out. Hey, guys. Miss me? Now you shall learn the meaning of- Rohtaga. Son of a bitch! Bye. Have a beautiful day.