Teddy

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) What are you doing here, Booster? Reporting for watch duty. You have never reported for your watch duty shift. Ever. But, hey, I'm here now. Ready to stand watch. And I know it doesn't look like I take my League duties very seriously, but I really, really do. No, really, I do. BATMAN: (GROANS) Fine. I'll see you in six hours. BOOSTER GOLD: You mean Oh (GASPS) Thanks, Batsy! - You can stop talking to me now. - (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Done! (BOAT HORN BLARING) Welcome to the Justice League Watchtower Guided Celebrity Tour and Souvenir Emporium! - (FIREWORKS EXPLODING) - (HORN HONKS) (MIC FEEDBACK) So, how was the journey over on my very own personal yacht? (WHISPERS) Rental. Your Captain is strange. That is Captain Skeets. Cybernaut of the seven seas. Excuse me, but your website said we'd be greeted by a hero. Yeah. Me. Booster Gold. The Notorious B. G. ? Come on, hero from the future? You know it. (CRICKETS CHIRPING) Got a real bug problem here, bruiser. And on your left the last of our three laundry facilities. No questions? Okay, last stop, the boiler room! MAN: I have a question. This is dull! We paid good money. Show us your cool toys, future boy! Oh! I know who you are. (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) You're my favorite! Let's go. (SIGHS) (CAMERA CLICKS) And this is Booster One, my very own private jet! Why does it say, "Justice One"? Oh, that's a typo. We're going to send it back to the shop in a little bit. (GROANS) No offense, but do any of the real superheroes have aircraft? Oh, just the big guys, like me and Bats, you know Batman. Yeah, that's my dude. Yeah. That's one of the Batjets over there. The ugly one. (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) Does Wonder Woman have a jet? Uh, sure, yeah. It's, uh It's here somewhere. (MUMBLES) Around here, somewhere. - I don't see it. - Ah, yeah, it's, um It's invisible. Ooh! Did you hear that, Teddy? (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) Tourists. This isn't the powder room. Nah, I just said that to get you to stop asking. This is way cooler. We call it the kitchen. - Computer, recognize Booster Gold. - (COMPUTER BEEPING) COMPUTER: Invalid entry. Booster. B-O-O COMPUTER: Recognized Boodika, Green Lantern Corps. Initiating simulation. What, Boodika? No, no, no. (ALARM RINGING) (SCREAMING) (SIZZLING) - Hang on, I think I can - (BEEPS) - (CREATURE HISSING) - Ah! (EXCLAIMS) (GRUNTING) You know what? That one was me. - Okay, sorry. - (COMPUTER BEEPS) (CREATURE HISSES) - (BLADES WHIRRING) - (ALL SCREAMING) Okay, did anyone happen to see where the door went? (BLADES WHIRRING) (SIGHS) Okay. Ah! (GROANS) (BEEPING) - (BLADE WHIRRING) - (SCREAMS) - (BEEPS) - (ALL SCREAMING) (ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING) (ALL GROANING) (EXCLAIMS) Oh, right. Automatic emergency space-time shift. (CHUCKLES) It came standard. "Space-time shift?" How far did we go? (BEEPING) -Uh-hmm. Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm. All right. According to my calculations - (BEEPS) - I have no idea. By that clock, I'd say 35 minutes and still no ladies room. (CHUCKLES) (BOOSTER GOLD'S DEVICE BEEPS) (DEVICE POWERS DOWN) And I'm out of power again. Ugh! (MACHINE POWERING UP) Uh, it looks like it's doing something! Ah, it's just scanning us. Internal defenses. It's no big. (ALARM RINGING) -COMPUTER: Suspicious device detected. Initiating lockdown procedure. Huh? What? What? No, it must be a malfunction. Oh, it's no malfunction! (LAUGHING) Toyman! What happened to your mustache? You want malfunctions? Wait till my malware infects your systems. In a few hours, your precious League headquarters will be history. (LAUGHS) In your face! I can't believe this! You used my innocent tour to gain access to this room for your own evil ends? Did you know about this, Teddy? Your silence speaks volumes. Is he serious? COMPUTER: Rapid response team deployed. (COMPUTER BEEPS) Response team? Is that good or bad? COMPUTER: It's bad. They're security drones. A lot of them. They shoot stuff, and they'll be here any second. Can't you emergency space-time us out of here? My suit's still recharging! No, I have to get rid of this hacking device. Where is it, Toyman? - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - What? What's up? Why are you all - (COMPUTER BEEPING) - Oh! Shut it down, Toyman! It's the only way! I can't! I made the forcefield completely impenetrable. (STAMMERS) Why? I don't know, I'm crazy! They'll be here any second! Maybe we can stop him with the Mother Box I brought to send the Watchtower into the sun? What? I'm Granny Goodness, come on. I'm barely wearing a disguise. You're telling me that three quarters, nearly half of this tour group have been supervillains in disguise? Hello! BOOSTER GOLD: Are you kidding me? I suppose you brought some kind of poisonous gas? No, I really just came for the tour! Got this idea from an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. (CACKLES) (DRONES WHIRRING) (SCANNER BEEPING) DRONE: Eradicate. Eradicate. I've doomed us all! (LASERS FIRING) (SCREAMS) (GASPS) Ah! (BOOSTER GOLD GROANS) Huh? Ah! (GRUNTING) - (BEEPS) - (GRUNTS) (YELLS) (GASPS) - (GRUNTING) - (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Oh, okay. You know what? That was the last drone. COMPUTER: Intruder alert. - (COMPUTER BEEPS) - Deploying additional drones. "Unknown associate"? Oh, come on! Run! (GROANS) (TOYMAN WHIMPERS) - Can I borrow your phone? - Sure. He's in my favorites. (DIALING) WOMAN: (OVER PHONE) Your call has been forwarded to - an automatic voice message system. - (GROANS) BATMAN: (OVER PHONE) Batman. WOMAN: (OVER PHONE) Is not available. (GROANS) (EXCLAIMS) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) (ALL SCREAMING) Not gonna lie, that was awesome! (SCREAMS) What about the training kitchen we were in? -(GROANS) Can we hide there? There's too many of them. We'll never make it. (BEEPS) Might be enough, but only for one. - (DEVICE BEEPS) - My bad. Hero? (SCOFFS) Certainly, not today. - Run faster, you big battleax! - Ah! (THUDDING) (EXCLAIMS) (WHIMPERING) BOOSTER: Duck! I was getting a little bit tired of all their droning on. No, no, wait. (CHUCKLES) How about, "Now, that's what I call a Game of Drones. " How about, "Romancing the Drone"? Yeah, that one doesn't even make any sense, man. -(LAUGHS) In the end, they were just flesh and drone. -(LAUGHS) Hey, guys, could you drone it down? (LAUGHS) You're good! I have to hand it to you, Booster, using your tech to create hologram duplicates, awesome! Yeah, Goldilocks, even I'm impressed, and I'm a Batman villain! Actually, these aren't duplicates. These are real Boosters from alternate timelines. This is Booster if I had stayed in bed this morning, and this is Booster from a world without love. (SIGHS) I'm sad. We sort of have a phone tree thing. Everybody calls two. Hey, thanks again, guys. Here you go. Marshmallows! What? Everybody gets one! - Got it! - Yeah, baby! - All right! - Sweet! - Hey, thanks, man! You're the best! - No, you're the best. Ciao! - (GASPS) - (EXCLAIMS) Not much going on at home, huh? In conclusion, my grossly negligent and unlicensed tour business was actually a clever ruse to entrap these sinister villains and foil their plots to destroy the Watchtower. (CLEARS THROAT) Except Joker. He's completely innocent. I think he enjoyed the tour, too. Uh-huh. So, you see, Batman, you're not the only one who can keep a bunch of plates spinning, manage every detail, and always stay one step ahead of disaster. Now, if you'll excuse me, Skeets and I have a boat we have to return to - yachts of fun. - (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) (SKEETS WHIRS) You might want to avoid that door. Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=justice-league-action-2016&episode=s01e47