Klyntar Quill

1 [alarm blaring] [alarm stops] [yawns] [sighing] Uh, Gamora, when did we get shag carpeting? It's not carpeting, Quill. It's Groot. Oh, I hope we get him to his home world soon. The dude's getting more bizarre by the minute. Hey, give the sap-head a break. He's happy. Now that Warlock zapped his World Pod, he can hit the "reset" button on his own planet. Yeah, but did he have to do it on my ship? I am Groot! [insects buzzing] Oh, what is that abominable stench? I am Groot! Uh, we better eat up, [singsongy] or things could get ugly. [Drax, Gamora groaning] [groaning] What were the chunks? Aw, come on. The grass wasn't that bad. Says the creature that eats trash. I am Groot. [Gamora] This planet seems familiar, like I've been here before. Eh. You seen one scorched cinder, you seen 'em all. I am Groot! What Mr. Sensitive here means to say is once he drops his World Pod into some sacred pool in the royal palace, it'll give the planet an instant makeover. I am Groot! And his entire civilization will sprout up and live once more. I was getting to that part. [distant hissing] This isn't right. There's someone else here, or some thing. Oh, come on, Gamora. What could possibly survive in a burned-out pit like this? Symbiotes! [roars] [growling] Not the answer I was hoping for. [Symbiotes growling] You Symbiote snot-bags ain't taking over this body and brain! [growling continues] Energy blasts won't stop them! No, but cranking up the tunes will. One sonic blaster coming up! Eat sound waves, slimeball! [soft pop rock] No, no, no, not that one. Cue track four. No, no, six! [rock blasting] I am Groot! [grunting] [continues] Drax, quit slicing and dicing! You're just making more Symbiotes! Yes, more enemies for Drax to destroy! We can't keep this up for much longer. [grunts] I know. Rocket picked a really short song. [stops] [Rocket screams] My tunes! I mean, Rocket! [Gamora] Got bigger problems! As in Rocket being taken over by a Symbiote! [Quill] Run for it! [grunts] Whoa! [yells] [screeching] Hmm? [hissing, growling] Uhh [growling] We won't save Groot's people just to let 'em turn into goo zombies. We have to get to the palace. - Groot, where is it? - I am Groot. What, behind the scorched rocks? I am Groot! Perhaps you could be a bit more specific. [grunts] [all yell] [grunts] [groans] [coughing] Ohh Okay, okay, I get it now. The palace is underground. Dude, I saw something up there. It saved my life. - What if some of your people survived? - I am Groot? [Gamora] Quill, you saw what's left of this planet's surface. Nothing could survive that. Giving Groot false hope is cruel and dishonorable. But I saw something! What is all this stuff? I mean, it doesn't look like Groot's style. No. It's Thanos' style. Now I know why this planet looks so familiar. This was where Thanos first weaponized Symbiotes. [hissing, growling] And I was one of his test subjects. [grunts] No! [hisses, roars] [grunting] Thanos liked what he saw at first. The feral rage, mindless destruction I think it was the only time I ever saw my father smile. Until he realized he couldn't control his [roaring] weapon. [grunting] A Symbiote had to be mechanically de-bonded painfully. [screaming] Thanos infected you? On purpose? He wanted a Symbiote weapon, so he turned a burned-out planet into a laboratory and experimented. No wonder you knew so much about them. When Thanos couldn't control the Symbiotes, he abandoned the planet. And I swore I'd never come back. I am Groot. Groot, I never knew that it was your home world. I am Groot! Whoa, whoa! Dude, don't point that thing at me! I had even less to do with this than Gamora did. That's not a weapon. That's the de-bonding device. I am Groot. Uh I am Groot. Oh, you want to fix it? I am Groot. The wrench. [grunts] [clicking] I am Groot. Huh? - Hmm! - Show-off. I am Groot. You can't use this thing on Rocket. I barely survived it. I think Rocket would pick that over being a Symbiote puppet. I am Groot. [hissing] I am Groot! [squealing] Clear! [grunts] [growling] Sorry, Rocket. This is for your own good. [screeches, growls] Don't move. It'll hurt less. [growling] [screaming] I am Groot. I am Groot? [groans] Any of you krutackers get the number of that freighter that just ran me over? I am Groot! [grunts] Okay. Okay. I'm alive. [chuckles] For now, anyway. Why would you not be alive later? You know how them Symbiotes are all connected to a hive mind? Well, that hive is flargin' huge. As in the size of the whole planet. [hissing] And they're all coming after Groot's World Pod! [Gamora] You're saying the whole planet is infested with Symbiotes? [Drax] But how can there be so many? Thanos chose this planet because its soil was rich with life energy. He hoped it would allow the Symbiotes to reproduce. And now the d'ast things are multiplying just like he wanted. All crowding around that door, trying to get in. [Symbiotes hissing] Fortunately, I still got weapons. Ha-ha! [clicking] Ah, flarg! This is why I don't lend my stuff to nobody, [weapon clangs] let alone slimy, krutackin' Symbiotes! Actually, there is one weapon we can still use. Thanos had a fail-safe in case he couldn't remove the Symbiotes from his test subjects, and they turned on him. A doomsday device, powerful enough to blow up the entire planet. Are you out of your mind? This is Groot's home! - I am Groot! - I know. I know. But we can't just leave a planet full of Symbiotes floating around the galaxy, waiting for a ride to an inhabited world. Sure we can. Look, we go back to the Milano, and we leave the planet exactly like we found it. Not our problem. Quill, that's the first sensible thing you've said, ever. I am Groot. He wants you to know he'd rather see his home world destroyed than abandon it to Well, I can't exactly translate. Let's just say he really hates those slimeballs. Okay, pal. Your planet, your call. [grunts] There's an elevator that will take us down to the doomsday device. The main reactor is in the large chamber, but there are quantum charges throughout these tunnels. [Rocket] I'll say one thing for Thanos: He don't skimp on the hardware. I am Groot. What? A guy can't have a moment with a billion-taraton explosive? [giddy laughter] [beeping] I'm giving us 20 minutes to get outta here. If we ain't on the Milano by then, the slimeballs will have gotten us anyways. [grunts] You sure about this, bud? I can't shut this thing down. Once I hit this button, there's no going back. I am Groot. [grunts] [laughing] It's gonna be beautiful. [grunts] Oh. Uh, sorry, bud. [Symbiotes hissing, growling] Whoa, whoa. Okay. All right. Everyone back up slowly. [hissing, growling continue] Slowly. Okay, faster! Let's go faster! We're trapped. Then we will make our stand here and now. Wait! Hold your fire! Slashing, whatever. I knew I saw something before. These are the plant guys that saved me. I'm sure of it. I am Star-Lord. I mean you no harm. Ten to one it eats him. See? It's all good. Huh? [grunts] Aah! - [Drax, Gamora] Quill! - I am Groot! Called it. [roaring] Kind of wished you hadn't [growls] Everyone stand down. That's still Quill inside that Symbiote. [hissing, growling] [Rocket] Yeah, well, the other Symbiotes don't seem to give a flarg. [screeching] I guess we should pick a side? I have picked. [yelling] [grunting] Uh thanks. Work, you krutackin' piece of flarg! [creature Quill] No sonics! You will disintegrate our friends. [groans] Killjoy. I'm starting to think you really are Quill in there. We need you to seal off the tunnel from the bad Symbiotes. Oh, yeah. [grunting] Release me! I am winning! [grunting] [devices beeping] I'll show ya winning. [Symbiotes roaring] [grunts] Yes! [laughing] Well, that's great, as long as we don't need to use the elevator. Do not worry. We have a plan. Definitely Quill. We are called the Klyntar. We have been tracking your movements, trying to help. But the only way we could communicate directly was to bond with the one you call Quill. Hmph! How's that working out for ya? It is weird. But you have nothing to fear from the Klyntar. We are a peaceful race. We lived in symbiosis with all the different species of our home world, until the one called Thanos took us and vaporized our planet. [creatures crying out] He processed the Klyntar to remove the Klyntar's free will. But it corrupted the Klyntar. Turned the Klyntar feral and full of rage. [Klyntar growling] The Klyntar you see before you managed to avoid this fate. We have survived against the ferals for all these years. But without hosts, we cannot escape this world. Yeah, speaking of escape, we got about 14 minutes before this whole planet goes kablooey! The Klyntar can lead you to the Milano, and we can all leave the planet together. But we will require your complete cooperation. Hold on. If you're talking about bonding with these Klyntar Agreed. Wa-Wait! Are you out of your shiny, green head? [roaring] [grunts] Ha! We will enjoy this. [Klyntar Quill] Bonding will make us all strong enough to fight our way to the surface. It is, in the words of our host, "pretty flargin' awesome. " You honor-swear that you will release us once we're off-world? [growls] [roars] This will suffice. [roars] [nervous chuckling] Uh, thing is, I already bonded once today, and I'm trying to cut back. Maybe Maybe just the tail? [hissing] [sighs] Fine. Get it over with. [yells] [roaring] We like this much more than that other Symbiote. I am Groot. Groot, you must trust the Klyn I am Groot! We understand, and we will respect your wishes. We do understand. We can hear each other's thoughts. We know, and your thoughts are disgusting. But since we share thoughts, we all know how little time we have left. [grunting] [Symbiotes hissing, growling] [yells] [grunting] Stay behind us, Groot. You're the one they are after. [hisses] [Klyntar Drax] It is a long way to the top. [Klyntar Quill] Good thing we can fly. [Symbiotes screech] [grunting] [grunting] Clear! [Klyntar Rocket grunting] We never knew you were so heavy. [hissing] [growling] [grunts] [Klyntar squeals] No! [squeals] I am Groot. We fear this Klyntar's injuries are fatal. [labored breathing] Or, as our host would say, "It's bad, bud. Real bad. " I am Groot? There is only one thing that can be done to save this Klyntar. [labored breathing continues] [Symbiotes squeal] [Symbiotes roar] We are Groot! [Symbiotes roaring] [grunts] [beeping] Time is almost up! We must get to the ship! [hissing] [growling] [roaring] Get aboard the ship, Groot. We will be right behind you. [hissing] [explosion] [grunts] I am Groot. Quill, haven't you two had enough of each other? Someone must remain bonded so the Klyntar can communicate. How's the soil, bud? Good enough to plant your World Pod? I am Groot. So there ain't no sacred pool here. What difference does that make? I am Groot. Yeah, a billion millennia is a pretty long time to grow back an entire civilization. Then the Klyntar pledge to share this world as the guardians and protectors of the Groots, until both our civilizations can be restored to their former awesomeness. That's weird. I didn't think this system had any comets. That is no comet. The Klyntar can sense it is a fragment of Groot's planet, infested with feral Symbiotes and headed for inhabited systems. Yeah, we should probably do something about that. [grunts] Later, bro. [Rocket] Congratulations, Quill. You're the only human to ever infect a Symbiote. Guardians, let's catch that rock. [beeping] I am Groot. Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=marvels-guardians-of-the-galaxy-2015&episode=s02e11