Coluan Invasion of Metropolis

- (PEOPLE SCREAMING) - MAN: Watch out! I, Brainiac, claim Metropolis for my collection. Congratulate me. You're my 10,000th city. (YELPS) Spread out, he can't take us all. Incorrect. Bring it. (ROARING) (GRUNTING) Ha! COMPUTER: Evasive counter measures upgraded. (GROANS) COMPUTER: New data sub-zoom. Cyborg's counter measures upgraded. (GRUNTS) Any luck hacking into their system? He's too advanced. It's like trying to break a firewall with a squirt gun. Keep on it. Backup is en route. COMPUTER: Counter measures upgraded. This world will be recorded and eradicated. Not today, Brainiac. Not ever. (GROANS) (GRUNTS) Success rate at 89. 76%. BATMAN: Someone needs to take out that ship. Someone who can get inside without notice. Ooh, I'll do it. I'll do it. Here I come. Pick me. Pick me. (WHISTLES) Watch out! Watch out. Hey-yo! Head's up. Look, Plastic Man, I think we need someone who takes this a little more seriously. (GASPING) Moi can be serious. Watch this. Four! - Ooh! - (SMASHING) Yikes! My bad, Tin Man. Okay, that one got away from me. CYBORG: You think? We don't have time for this. Brainiac intends on shrinking Metropolis and destroying the world. Let's go. Thanks anyway, Plas. Maybe next time. PLASTIC MAN: (SIGHS) Yeah, sure. Have your people call my people. We'll do lunch. Hold the pickle. Brainstorm. Why don't I just get up on that ship, delay the ray and bamboozle the Brainiac? That'll show 'em I take super heroing seriously. (STRAINING) (YELLING) (GRUNTING) Upsy daisy. Threat detected. Defenses active. Okay, new plan. Down, here it goes. ROBOT: Threat aborted. COMPUTER: Brainiac Prime. This unit is prepared to collect city designated as Metropolis. ROBOT: Threat detected. (BEEPING) Threat potential: 0. 0% Weapons disengage. (IMITATES QUACKING) Hey, where's the goose? You know what I mean? Thanks for the assist, gents. Got to go do-do what I do-do best. This will be a short trip to Easy Town. Population, me. (GRUNTING) Me and my big mouth. (WAILING) My aching back. Ooh, ooh! Brainiac's collection of bottled cities. Hmm, cool, cool. Oh, nice neighborhood. Very spacey. Ooh, I like this one. (YELLING) Hello! Grabulac-4 (ECHOING) Are you ready to (SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) (INHABITANTS SCREAMING) (WHISTLING) Argh! Brainiac is a superior intelligence, you will not lay hands on him. - (BRAINIAC GROANING) - Bah! Prepare the miniaturization canon for collection. Affirmative. Commencing firing sequence. (BEEPING) What is happening? (PLASTIC MAN CLEARS THROAT) I'm happening. Ta-da! ROBOT: Name, Plastic Man. Classification, hero. Thank you so much. That's right, muchacho. ROBOT: Threat status, 4. 6. Four point, I'm sorry what? That's out of five, right? Negative. Threat status scales to 100. 100? That's just mean. Reinitializing canon. (YELLING) Quack. Miniaturization canon increasing to full power. PLASTIC MAN: Wait, wait, wait. Stop the canon. - You have new data? - Uh The other robots told, uh, commanded me to take us out of orbit. Beep-bop-straight! Stop. Hey, what's going on with the ship? Plastic Man. Which unit commanded this? You know, the other guy, Steve. Uh-oh! I mean, Steve 2. 0. (BEEPING) You are the 4. 6 threat level hero. You will be expunged from the database. Ha! I'll show you 4. 6! Ha! More like 4. 6 billion. - Halt, intruder. - Guys Say, "Ah!" (YELLING) Ole. Hey, what're you doin' over there? Stop pushing those buttons. - Intruder. - PLASTIC MAN: Hey, what's this do? Hey, hey, hey. COMPUTER: Miniaturization canon in full power. Commence firing sequence. (PEOPLE CLAMORING) Come on, people. - Ahh! I got to find the off switch. - (ALARM BEEPING) This one, no. This one? No. Come on, Ctrl-Alt-Delete. Ah! I'm locked out of the computer. Hey guys, I think we got a bit of a situation here. Plastic Man, are you in the ship? (WOMAN SCREAMING) Look around. Do you see the controls for the canon? Try to shut it off. I'm locked out of the computer. Then try to fly the ship out of here. I can't. The controls are all smashed. PLASTIC MAN: Listen, there's only one way left to save the city. I just wanted you to know It's been a real pleasure to work with the Justice League. SUPERMAN: Plastic Man, what're you going to do? Plastic Man, no. (ALL GASPING) (CROWD CHEERING) We were wrong about Plastic Man. He was serious about being a super hero. He'll always be remembered as a member of the Justice League. (WIND WHOOSHING) SUPERMAN: Plastic Man! You're alive. Congratulations, you saved the world. (BELCHING) Apparently, you saved many worlds. Ah! It was nothing. (BELCHING) Uh, I'll be tasting Grabulac for a month. BRAINIAC: Database is updated. Subject upgraded to an 87 threat level. Next time, you will be destroyed first, Plastic Man. Sorry about that, Plas. Are you kidding? 87! Did you hear that? Let's go let some sushi. Me and my boys and my new arch enemy. Come here, you big lugs. We gotta get this selfie going. Everybody say cheeseburgers! (CAMERA CLICKS) PLASTIC MAN: Oh, I'm posting this. Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=justice-league-action-2016&episode=s01e17