Future Schmuely "Snot" Lonstein(Timeline 2)

Hey, where am I? A second ago I was blasting my abs at the gym where I train for free because I'm assistant manager. Whoa! I'm so ripped now. How many girls have you had sex with? How many girls haven't I had sex with? Zero. I'm awesome! I'm not awesome! Look at me. Am I under a roof? Sheets! Steve, what did you do? I went downstairs to look for you! I was in the bathroom. I'd never go downstairs. I love my future self. The clean one. Sorry, dude. Look, I'm the one who gave up. It's my bad. I I didn't do anything cool, I swear. You must've done something cool in the bathroom. I assure you, what I did in the bathroom was not cool. Steve, come downstairs so we can keep making out and breaking things. [Gasps] Lolo, bunny, give us a second. How could you do this to us?! I couldn't help myself! It's Lolo Fuentes! Look, all we have to do is go back in time and undo what I just did. How are you gonna do that? With your time machine. Whoa, oh oh! I have a time machine? It's gone! Whoa, oh, oh, oh! I don't have a time machine. Time for a 1-minute plank. 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana [Indistinct conversations] Steve! You ruined my future! Not necesarily. Maybe you're a bum by choice, you know? Get out of the rat race. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not doing a rat race again. They're fixed. The rats know all the shortcuts. My rain boots. Look, Snot, our futures clearly aren't set in stone. Let's just go downstairs so you can do something cool. Then your future will be awesome just like mine. I guess it's worth a shot.