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In this Universe Principal Brian Lewis is a CIA Agent. He always carries his Gun in his left pocket. In this Universe Hayley Lewis, and Steve Lewis are black but Francine Lewis is white. 


But right now, we're in a Care Bear movie.

Is that why you're dressed as a pirate, Principal Smith? He's your principal.
This is your fault, Lewis.
You made being single look so lovely! I swear I'm your dad.
Remember last year at Christmas I got you both three-hole punches s-so you wouldn't have to fight over one? No, last year on Christmas, we pretended we didn't see you walk into the sizzler by yourself.
That's all I remember.
Look, Stan, you, uh, seem to be a little agitated, but I don't want this to get out of control because, as you know, I'm a C.
You're in the C.
?! That's my life! Wait! Then you should have a gun right here.
Oh, God! There it is.
Everybody just chill out.
[ Gun cocks ] You're my family -- mine! -- and you're coming with me.
Some people say Porsche.
Some people say Porsh-uh.
I don't choose sides.
I let the car do the talking.
I say Porsh-uh.
It's longer.
Better chance someone will overhear me talking about it.
Seven swans a-swimming six geese a-laying [ Gun cocks ] Five golden rings I can't do this! But you sound beautiful! They sound terrified.
[ Sirens wailing ] Oh, the C.
's here.
This should be interesting.
Principal Smith, you cuckoo bird, I know Christmas is a time for family, but it's supposed to be your own family! Of which you have none.
You are alone in this world and, undoubtedly, will be alone in the next.
So let that family go! But I'm not alonebecause I have you, Francine.
Please remember.
Okay, this should mean something.
I know what you wanted for Christmas, so on three, let's say it together.
One, two, three.
Wine glasses.
Snowmansweater? Damn it.
Bullock: All right, Smith.
We're coming in firing, but this Christmas massacre is on your head! Wait.
A snowman sweater? I don't know why, but that does sound familiar.
It -- it does? Francine, thank you.
Thank you so much.
But honey, the C.
will never believe you.
Our only hope is if I can convince them.
Go, go.
I'll be right back.
Kids, come help me explain.
Yes, yes.
Good idea.
That way it's not just her word against Lewis'.
[ Gasps ] It was terrible.
He's completely lost it.
That poor, poor man.
What are you waiting for? Take him down! I don't want to armchair Q.
this whole thing, but, um, never release all your hostages, 'cause now what's stopping them from -- There it is.
I'm gonna go hide in the attic.
[ Glass breaks ] Let me know how you do! [ Chuckles ] He should be unconscious by now.
[ Sniffles ] [ Tires squeal ] I can't live like this! [ Siren wails ] Smith, stop or we'll shoot! If I can't be with my family, I don't want to live! [ Groaning ] [ Screams ] Sometimes I wonder if what we do makes any difference at all.
[ Wind blowing ] [ All whistling "Joy To the World" ] Angel: [ Chuckles ] That was brutal.
But you learned your lesson.
You mean Yes.

You learned the importance of family.