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Who are you? I'm you, Steve, from the year 2040. And I'm you, Snot, and we're here to warn you. You can't go back to that party. If you're from the future, who wins the world series next year? Rene Russo. Buckle up, it's a crazy season. [Soft rock music playing] Future us? We're so polished.Steve, look at us! We're still hanging out. Yeah, we're best friends, like Taylor Swift and Usain Bolt. Oh, you don't know about that yet. They become best friends, briefly overthrow the U. S. government, and are beheaded together in Times Square. Steve, they don't want a boring history lesson. What's important is we've been inseparable for, like, 30 years. And together, we invented the time machine. See, here's the secret to life If you're an awkward outsider as a kid, you end up being a rich, cool, and very successful adult. But a few days ago, we had a couple failures in the lab, and that was weird. And when I got a memory of getting a blow job in high school, we knew something was very wrong. [Sarcastically] Oh, no, that's so bad. We checked the security footage from our lab and noticed that Mertz stole one of our time machines. I bet Mertz was that janitor in Bobby Freeze! He he told us to have a party. Oh! He wants you to be cool now so in the future, you aren't as successful. You guys can't go back down to that party. What? You're asking us to give up our chance to be popular and talk to all the girls who are here to see us? It better be worth it for us later on. Oh, it is. I've had sex four times with three different women. You hear that, Snot? Someone came back for seconds. Snot? He went down to the party! He's gonna ruin everything! Okay, go get him, but don't talk to anyone. Don't do anything memorable. Just make your usual zero impact on people. Your future depends on it. What happens to me and Toshi? Toshi stopped talking to us after high school. [Speaks Japanese] And Barry, old friend, you died young in a formula one accident. Did a wheel hop the grandstand and take my head off because I was looking the other way because of nachos? No, you were a super famous driver. Oh. In fact, during your final grand prix, you got blinded by the amount of tits being flashed in your face. But you kept your foot on the gas, Barry. That was your way. No one had ever seen a blind guy drive so straight. If only it had been a straight course. I don't wanna do this.  

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